Uda ga sabar

Aduh beneran uda ga sabar kapan yah bisa pulang indo n ga usa kerja lagi, huhuhu….mau donk

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Sorted!

I was really inspired to get organized by the book I read. Actually it’s not my book, it’s library book and not me the one who borrowed it either, my roomie did. It is really interested.

So today I went to IKEA to buy something to help me getting more organized. The picture above is showing a very useful purse rack, where we can hang all our bags. I have some difficulties to keep my bags, and after I googled yest and found this pic, I fell in love with the idea. And tried to chk in IKEA website whether they had it, and yes they have! So I bought one today, unfortunatelly I planned to clip it on the door but the clip is thinner than the door thickness, Hix…seems need to wait my own wardrobe to use it ….

Nature walk


Yesterday, I was going for a walk along the Mc Ritchie reservoir. We started with a fight, since I only want to find a spot there and look at the lake then do quiet time. But JH wanted us to do some sport as well, means breeze walk. But my purpose yesterday was to admire God’s creation (although it is man made nature, but I admire God who creates human and create the lake). It’s such a wonderful scenary in the morning. I love it!

I spent most of my time yesterday on the bus actually. I went back from bugis, after our lunch using bus no 7, and reached home at 2. At 4 I went back to city hall for cell group using bus 106, and at 8 using bus again to home.

Sigh….such a waste of time in the journey, and I always fell asleep.

About the sky


This morning I am looking at the sky. As usual, I have “stressed” dream and woke up with a glance of hope since tomorrow will be hols for me (Saturday mah!). I will very depressed after taking shower, sit down at the sofa, read my quiet time material, and pray. Then think…(while praying), why life is so miserable, why I have to do this, I want to stop, I don’t want this kind of life.

Then I remember one of the sermon from the You are the link seminar, the speaker said that he will always looking at the night sky to see stars and understand how small we are as a human. So, that’s what I was doing this morning. In the MRT, I saw the blue sky and wondering, “Ya….how small we are. We are indeed like tiny creatures, worthless, but felt like the most important creation in the world.” How come God loves us so much, and became like one of us. It’s just like us seeing bacteria/amoeba and so love that little tiny creatures and want to be one of them.

Looking at the sky is good, open your mind more, and make you not to be so self pity

Drip…drip…rain is falling


I love rain. It just like my best buddy in the whole world. It is there to accompany you. But today when I decided to go back, it was already 6.45, meant I missed the company bus, so I planned to take taxi back. And I brought most of my lecture note which I put in the office last time. It was very heavy. And I just thought today the right time since I was going to take cab. When I walked down and saw outside, it’s raining! And no taxi! I walked so far and still no cab, until I took bus to MRT and took cab from MRT. Wow! Through the road, I brought my heavy lecture notes in a very nice levis paperbag. Sigh….the paper bag is torn due to the rain, and my feet were dirty because of the small water in the street.

Rain, why you are not so friendly with me today. Hehehe…but anyway you are still my best friend!

Counting

6 March 2008, we already 5 years together and keep going… We celebrated it early since at first I had KTB on that night. We went for dinner on 4 March at Kuishin Bo. It was fantastic! Haha… free flow of snow crab, and it was the best items of all. But lots of cholesterol. The excited part was, they had this special items that was limited for first come first serve based, such as lobster, exotic desert and honeydew ice cream packed in a cute honeydew container. When they had this offer, they will announce with a catchy song “Tong…tong….tong…Kusihin Bo…” Hahha, you had to hear it yourself, and people had to look around where is the special items being distributed and then they will queue.

Unfortunately, on the 6th, my KTB was cancelled, fortunate for me, we had another celebration, meant another dinner. This time was nearby at Holland V, I chose a famous Australian steak restaurant recommended by my cousin who lives in Perth (she said it is the best in Australia). It is Hog’s Breath Cafe. We decided to eat there because they had offer for UOB credit card, by 1 get 1 free main course and drinks as well. Wow! But the food is not included their speciality prime ribs. So we only ate the other steak (not the prime ribs). It was original taste of the bbq meat (means steak), no other spices they add. So for me, it felt a bit tasteless ( I felt Botak Jones is much much more better and cheaper). But I love the Mud Cake. Very nice! Chocolate cake put on top of chocolate pond with sweet whip cream and vanilla ice cream. Delicious!

Enough about the food, back to the reality life. I am counting down on my last day which will be on the last Friday of this month, 28 Feb and I will straight away flying back home on 29. Unfortunately, my dearest colleague Mr J is on leave for 3 weeks until 25 March. And I need to back him up, which means a very hard time will come to me, sleepless nights, late working hours, disturbing weekends. I pray so hard for strength for the days and counting. I really want to finish it as soon as possible. Praying so hard that I will have enough rest mentally and spiritually. I will be very stress.

Thank God, He provides me with new IA student and my boss allows me to ‘use’ him to help me (it will be mutualism symbiosis, since he will gain more experiences, hey I am a good teacher so far hahaha…). I think he would be a good help for me. He had been with us for 2.5 days, and he had helped me few things.

Few problems still I still need to face alone, but it is much more easier. I just don’t understand why Mr J never asked me to do such things, I can help him much to ease his life. Pray that the coming weeks will be not so hard. I always tell myself that it will be over soon, just be strong. Counting until 28 March.

One of my KTB member want to apply IA at my current company, haha then I said “bye-bye” since I won’t be there anymore during the IA, and I told her, you won’t be stress since you are IA student but you will see stressed people and guaranteed that you won’t want to come back (that is my prediction la)

Sigh…the new comers fresh grad starting pay is 200 dollar higher than mine last time (even now, since mine have not increased, yikes! One of the reason I left, stingy company).

My perspective starts changing. Last time I thought becoming a noodle seller in hawker centre is fun, since you won’t stress with your works. You know what you’re doing and specialize in it, but after thinking further, I felt they might think they have longer working hours (even during weekend) but the income is not so much (perhaps mine is easier?) Dunno….

It is nearer to the Good Friday, I am preparing myself for the sacred week by reading trilogy of the cross by Max Lucado. I have finished reading 1 book: No Wonder They Call Him Saviour. And started to read the next one.

No life purpose

When we heard for a purpose driven life (like Rick Warren book), we already know what it is (or perhaps we fed up with it already). To glorify God and enjoying Him. Another one is to be like Christ / to achieve the perfection in Christlikeness ( I heard the sermon about this just yesterday). It’s all the thing that we shd have for our life. Last time I searched for the meaning of life, and now I found it (theoritically), and now what?

I felt strange. Although I know all those things, but when it came to my own life I felt hopelesness, I felt empty. How is it to glorify God, to be Christlikeness, if me myself even do not know what to do next in future after I quit my job. My life currently feel like an empty white paper that I don’t know what to write on.

 I don’t get it, why we have to work after graduation. And we don’t like our work. Why I need to study so hard just to do something which I can’t enjoy and the bad news is for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! Hua……………………………………aaaa…………… (can you hear me screaming?) It’s just like a nver ending nightmare, just until you died and you woke up. Sigh…Do I need to wait that long?

I can’t see anything, I am blind. I don’t know what to do next, at least I knew I don’t like this industry, still need to search others, but I felt discourage and do not want to search more. I felt like moving out to other country or becoming an admin officer which will make my mom and dad scream as well together with me.

Sigh….such a difficult choices in life. I will go back to Indon on end of this month to meditate, hope that God will whisper me what He wants me to do. In the mean time, I am planning to take guitar lesson! Yup…..an intensive one for 1 month, so I can sing a song with it. Last time I always wonder for a boyfriend who can play guitar so I can sing with him. But at least my bf still can sing, although he can’t play any instruments (perhaps trumpet? Based on his story). But honestly, I don’t like his type of voice, for choir one. I like the one for Pop, and I always think Pop is cool!

So….since he can’t play guitar, I decided to learn for myself, my voice is a pop type one (haha..I am proud of it), although not too good, but for my own listening, it’s consider ok. I felt my KTB will be more cheerfull as well with guitar to sing praises, and will be helpful in the field. 

Talking about future, always made me gloomy. I felt like black clouds surround me, and then a monster came out (hahaha…so anime, just like monster from sailor moon).

I was thinking of taking the Book Ship Doulos, to gain some experience in the ship for 2 months, if my parents ok with it. At first I felt I can’t do it, but somehow, I felt encourage. Hahaha perhaps due to the experience to go oversea also (Australia). If everything ok, I am going to apply to go on 13th June-13th August. But it’s just delaying myself to look for job, since I don’t have desired to look for one either.

Sigh……..helppp………what I am going to be with this condition?

Reluctant

These few days I always have strange dreams, somekind of nightmare, since in the dream I was pressurized. One of the nights, I was dreaming on being chase to be killed. It was always I knew that I was going to be killed at the first place, so I tried so hard to change the fate that I was goig to died. This was the obvious one that I always dreamt of. The other night, I dreamt of given scholarship to do master from my current company. And I was totally stressed since I am going to quit, meaning I am doing half way for the Master degree and I felt disadvantage by quit early before the scholarship finished (in term of money benefit). Then I was very confused and stressed how to decide.

Haha I always stressed, even in my own dream! Can you imagine that? Daily life, eye open – stress, eye close also stress!

Today, one of my PAE passed through my cubical and saw Mr J (today is supposedly Mr J’s off day, and again he came in, such a dedicated man). And they talked about OT pay (Mr J never claimed OT, although he always came back on Monday, so it is just like he works for 6 days a week –> tsk tsk…extra point again for so dedicated). Suddenly the PAE guy said something to me, ” Not like Jesica, not pick up the phone all the time.”

What? I only did not pick up on last Saturday, I got 3 misscall only. Mr J also added, “Ya… I called her also, but nobody picked up”. Sigh…..I just say “Really?”, and the guy said “Oh…at least you called back, some people just did not call back.” Yeah…..

I did not want to argue back, since I was in the church for the whole Saturday for a mission conference. And I have the right not to look at my hp, since I am in the sermon.

On Sunday, the guy called me and said I never returned back the call, the lot already on hold for almost 10 hrs, sigh….I called back on Saturday night and nobody told me about this, and now he blamed me?

I don’t like to fight back, anyway I am going out soon. I don’t want to give reasons that I am inside the church, they will laugh at me and think that I am sooo… ‘religious’. So to avoid that kind of impression, I just let it go, no defence back.

Back actually after you think about it, it’s better to fight back, it doesn’t matter right if they think you are too… holy since you are out anyway.

Sigh….anyway it has already passed. No need to think further about it.

Dingin

Akhir-akhir ini anginnya kenceng banget, dari dalem rumah aja bisa kedengeran wush….wush….. kayak badai mungil. Kalo pagi2 juga dingin.

Nyesel ga ya?

Hari ini, hampir sama kayak kemarin, dateng pas2an, untung masih dapet bus.

Tadi boss ku bilang, dia merasa guilty soalnya kayaknya tll sibuk n ga sempet ngobrol secara pribadi one by one ama orang2. Aduh aku jadi terharu, jadi merasa bersalah juga, soalnya waktu itu sempet ada rapat mengenai Quality Mindset, terus kita disuruh kasih pendapat n masukan, di masukan-ku aku tulis kalo kita kurang sharing ttg masalah2 yang kita hadapin bareng (hahaha…..itu sebenernya usul pribadi, mana mungkin sih ada kantor yang sifatnya fellowship kayak cell group aja), eh ternyata boss ku menanggapi serius.

Dia juga ngomong sih, harusnya aku dateng ke dia ngobrolin soal ini. Dia kasih tips, kalo ada apa2 di masa yg akan datang di tempat kerja laen, langsung dateng ke boss, ngomong. Tapi harus cari waktu yang tepat. Aku jujur aja ga berani. Seperti kayak anak SD mau ngomong ama guru ke WC aja dulu aku ga berani, makannya aku sampai sekarang frekewensi ke WC jarang gara2 yah itu…..dilatih dari dulu hehehe. Keinget kalo di rumah, org yg paling ditakutin itu papa. Kalo ga perlu ga berani ngomong. Kalo ngomong juga liat sikon, kalo moodnya lagi hepi baru ngomong (ini tips dari mama, soalnya kalo asal ngomong bisa kena marah). Perilaku yg sama, aku terapin di kantor ke boss, masalahnya kalo di rumah ada mama yang bisa dijadiin ‘tumbal’ (maksudnya penengah ke papa), kalo di kantor mana ada. Memang sih, dari dulu mana bisa terbuka ama papa, org kalo mau ngomong aja takut. Tapi makin lama jadi lumayan sih, papa suka nemenin belajar dulu pas SMA di kamar ku sambil baca koran hehehe (duh kangennya).

Pas pulang, nunggu bus di depan pintu gerbang company, ketemu boss. Dia nanya2, apa aku uda dapet tempat baru, tentunya belum, dia nanya2 kamu di bagian mananya indonesia, dia ada temen dari surabaya, punya rumah besar dan ada 6 pembantu! Wow! hahaha….dasar si boss. Hix jadi makin terharu aja, kok jadi makin baik yah dia, makin gentle ama aku.

Ada kejadian lucu juga hari ini. Mr R, yg sekarang pangkatnya lebih tinggi dari boss ku, meninggalkan buku clean roomnya deket tong sampah di tempat ganti baju. Untung aku liat, jadi aku bawain. Hahaha….dulu dia juga pernah keilangan bukunya, sampe minta bantuan para specialist di line buat cariin, hahaha….ada-ada aja. Dia sms aku, “Kamu harus dikasih ang pao lagi nih” Hohoho…..taun ini lumayan puas, dapet 4 buah kantong angpao, kemajuan dari taun sebelunnya (taon lalu dapet 3- 2 dari boss dan bossnya boss, 1 lagi dari mamanya JH). Taun ini ga dapet dari keluarga JH soalnya mereka lagi masa berduka karena kakeknya baru meninggal (menurut aturan Kong hu Cu, ga boleh ngerayain perayaan2 selama 2 tahun, jadi ga bisa kasih ang pao).

Uda ah mau maem mie kim chi, hahaha….

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